


Taking the Secret out of "Secret Santa"

by lds



Series: Secret Santa [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Holiday, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-15
Updated: 2008-01-15
Packaged: 2017-10-06 05:24:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lds/pseuds/lds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the gift exchange Rodney finds out who his Secret Santa was, eventually...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking the Secret out of "Secret Santa"

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Kerensa

Rodney McKay sat in the corner, neatly tucked away from the view of the crowd. It was the way he meant it to be, so he could observe the population of Atlantis as they played merrily as the season dictated and not have to participate. He would have departed the party scene except Elizabeth was positioned near the only available exit and she shot him a look the last time he started to approach it that indicated it was much too early in the evening for him to be departing. One of the principles of Christmas was "Goodwill toward men", but where was Elizabeth's for him, that was what Rodney wanted to know.

McKay wasn't sure why he wanted to leave more because of the crowd or the music; Christmas songs being played ad nauseam. How many versions of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" did they have? And was it necessary to play all of them in one night? To distract himself from the never ending supply of holiday cheer, Rodney bent over the box at his feet and pulled the items out to review once more. He was still in a state of shock over the gift he had received from his secret Santa. The person had gone the touch of home route with products from iconic Canadian companies, the thought expressed was enough to make Rodney feel warm inside. However, who ever it was hadn't stopped there. Also included in the gift was a small hand crafted and hand painted replica of a ZPM. Not that it took much knowledge of Rodney to get gifts from Canada and a ZPM. It was the time and effort put into creating the replica was what startled Rodney the most. He had to figure out who had gotten him the gift, it was of the type that necessitated a thank you, and even Rodney who wasn't Mr. Etiquette knew that. Rodney placed the items back into the large box they came in; he still couldn't quite grasp the generosity of the evening. Placing the little ZPM in a pocket, fearing it might get lost during the night's festivities, Rodney went back to his role of spectator.

Hiding in the corner, keeping on the outskirts of the celebrations, wasn't helping the scientist identify who the secret Santa was. He was pretty sure the culprit wasn't going to prance by with a sign revealing that he or she was the one who drew the name McKay in the Santa lottery. So far he had managed to rule out Sheppard because he would have given himself away once Rodney opened the gift. John was like a kid when it came to Christmas and he would have blurted it out. Plus, talented though the man was, he didn't have the artistic aptitude to create a delicate sculpture like the one currently residing in his pocket. This didn't rule out the possibility that he knew the identity of the gift giver, he knew whose name Rodney had gotten, going as far as revealing it to the receiver. This telling may have been motivated by the fact that Rodney would not want his recipient to know and if that was the case then he wouldn't reveal this little tidbit being sought. After all it would be more entertaining to have the astrophysicist squirm over identifying the individual than to simply tell. The problem was how to appear nonchalant about the whole topic while being the one to bring up the question, because waiting for John to bring something up when he wants him too is never successful.

One thing about hiding in the corner was it would eventually bring the man he wanted to interrogate to him. Rodney smirked to himself as he noticed a Sheppard shaped shadow slowly slinking its way over to his section of the room; it was only a matter of time till he could begin his little investigation. After a few false starts, people kept insisting on stopping the man and having a few words, John finally arrived at his targeted destination, a team member in hiding. Rodney actually took the bother to acknowledge the arrival of the officer with a nod of his head before Sheppard plopped down in the chair in front of him, effectively blocking the scientist's view of the dance floor.

"You do realize that by hiding away back here instead of circulating is going to make it so Elizabeth demand you stay a longer period of time, not a shorter, right?" Sheppard offered in way of a greeting.

"Whatever happened to Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?" demanded Rodney. "At this point even a hello would be a step up on the scale."

John shot Rodney an annoyed look before responding, "Happy Holidays."

"And a Joyeux Noel to you too," quipped Rodney.

"So do you know that Elizabeth is likely to make you stay longer because you failed to fraternize?" Sheppard asked once again. "And the fact that I stopped by to chat isn't going to count. You are chummy with me too often outside of the confines of necessity to have it factor into the equation now."

"What, I have to talk to other military types? Because I speak to the science team all the time," Rodney tried to clarify the required actions to get him away from the seasonal madness. What was the point of living in another galaxy if a person couldn't escape the Christmas madness?

"I think she is only counting actual small talk, so anyone you chewed out prior to the party won't count," the Colonel explained patiently. "That narrows it down to Zelenka and..."

"Ha. Ha," McKay stated snidely. "Radek isn't the only person I can be found in the company of in the off hours, thank you very much."

"By keeping company, you mean?" John gestured suggestively.

"That would depend on which member you are referring to now doesn't it?" Rodney asked coyly. "I don't mix the same with the military side because you know what archaic rules might come in to play. I am on the command team of the expedition and then there is the whole what countries allow what types of relationships. You should be familiar with those limitations yourself since as the head of the military component, you'd be expected to enforce it."

"I'm a live and let live kinda guy," Sheppard mused.

"Well, you don't live that way or you do a really good job covering it up with all those women," observed Rodney. "Then again, I guess you would have to be good at covering it up to have lasted this long in the US Air Force."

"There is that," John conceded. "But've I don't have to ask and until you ask can you really know? Unless you have the misfortune of walking in on something inappropriate. Then you've got to wonder about keeping someone around who can't even remember to lock the door."

"Ah true," McKay allowed. He was feeling agreeable about incompetence being a reason for dismissing anyone, though Elizabeth wanted details on his opinion, something to do with him thinking pretty much everyone qualified for that description. "So you're not one of those to lock someone in a room and barrage them with accusations around the whole issue till they crack and tell, huh?"

""I got more important things to worry about than whose sleeping with whom in this city," John justified his inattention to US policy or other countries as relevant to the discussion. "Unless of course we are talking about someone I'm interested in, in which case I care only to the point it impacts on my plans."

"No stepping on toes."

"No stepping on toes," the Colonel parroted. "Stepping on toes can lead to messy situations, which can lead to excess paper work. I will do all within my ability to avoid the paper work."

"I thought you just passed that off to Lorne," Rodney speculated.

"Ah, but you'd be surprised at how that man has learnt to duck the passing of the buck," John informed his team mate. "And he manages to do it with style."

"I don't think he got himself shot on M... whatever just so you'd have to do the evaluations," snorted McKay. "Time you give up on that story."

"I see he's managed to brain wash you on the matter," Sheppard noted. "Not surprised. Probably got him to cover for you the next time you use a similar excuse to pass the work on to Zelenka."

"Hmph," was all Sheppard got in response to that accusation. The two sat quietly for a moment before Rodney dove in with a comment to broach the whole secret Santa exchange from earlier. "How did Elizabeth even know I was leaving leaving? For all she knew I was taking my gift back to my room before returning to the party."

"She's met you?" John parried. "Seriously, like once you leave there will any way to get you to come back."

"The promise of food," Rodney suggested. "Or may be to opportunity to get lucky. Note I said opportunity; I don't even have to get lucky, just have the chance. These are things I am willing to suffer through a soirée of this nature for. Of course, the possibility of an orgy spontaneously breaking out while I'm trapped here is diminishing as we speak, not that it was high from the start."

"Ah, you're just bitter that you don't know who gave you the gift, because you find yourself in the awkward position of wanting to thank him," Sheppard speculated.

"He?" Rodney jumped on the word.

"Um," Sheppard hedged as he thought of a way to back out of the slip he made about gender. He needed to cut back on the spiked punch because he didn't mean to give a single clue that he knew the identity of the person behind Rodney's gift. He hadn't when he witnessed the opening but the giver wanted to know if Rodney had liked the ZPM, like then had been any doubt to the scientist's reaction. "He in the general reference to mankind type."

"You know you'd be more believable if you didn't get that panicked look on your face," Rodney informed his companion. "As it is I've narrowed the id down to over half the population of Atlantis. Be more useful if it had been a woman, numbers would at least be lower. Right now I've eliminated myself, you, Carson, Radek and Ronon. Not real helpful when you think of it."

"You sure about Carson and Radek?" John had to ask.

"Neither would have kept quiet this long, they'd feel compelled to tell me because I've been uneasy over the bounty I've received. Well, that and Radek would be hard pressed to part with such a trinket as the ZPM, at least not without getting one made for himself. I know he wouldn't be able to resist." Rodney reached into his pocket and pulled the gift under discussion out to have another look. "I know he's the nice one, but some things are simply beyond one's resistance and this wonderful little knickknack is one of those things."

"I see," John humoured the excitable man, he wasn't as in to ZPMs as much as McKay but he did appreciate the work that would had gone in to such a small, delicate object. It was a fairly intricate copy of the real thing and then miniaturized which made it all the more difficult. "Look at it this way, you've narrowed it down to a man with artistic talents."

"Or connected to or owed favours by someone with artistic know-how," Rodney qualified. "Either way it doesn't help much as I'm not up on the habits or hobbies of the men of Atlantis." Rodney actually giggled over the last bit, it sounded like he was talking about some calendar or other suggestive product revolving around the male population of the city. He, like Sheppard, may have indulged in little too much party punch.

"Are you sure?" Sheppard enquired because sometimes Rodney missed the obvious. Or most of the time, when he stopped to contemplate his friend before making note to stay far, far away from that punch, it packs quite the punch.

"Well, there are a few of the 'scientists'," Rodney made air quotes as he pronounced the last word, "who know how to draw a competent sketch but this little fella took real talent."

"Maybe if you circulate you'd get your answer," John suggested. "'Cause the punch seems to be designed to loosen lips."

"That's right, blame the punch," scoffed Rodney, who had to admit that the concoction had more liquor than should be legally allowed. "Why don't you confess now? It's good for your soul, you know."

"Because you're oh so concerned about my soul," scoffed John. "I suggest you mingle, never know what you find out."

"Yeah, because he'll just confess on the spot," Rodney sneered.

"If he knew exactly how fond of that teeny weeny ZPM you are, he just might," John theorized. "Should go out there and give it a try."

"Yeah, right," snorted Rodney.

Over on the other side of the room, the secret Santa under discussion wondered how Rodney would react to him walking up to him and asking him to dance. If he understood the comments of his commanding officer correctly, his gift had been a hit. He had missed McKay opening the package as he had been involved in a dispute over something completely meaningless with a close friend. He had been keeping a close eye on the scientist once he got the gift, but of course, the man didn't open the damn thing till he had been embroiled in a completely irrelevant discussion. That was how life worked. He had to get up the courage to actually discuss the matter with the Colonel. It was a little difficult given that the gift itself suggested someone who might be more than a little fond of the astrophysicist and given that they belonged to one of those few militaries where it is frowned upon for those of the same sex to have such feelings. Not that he had much to worry about in that department. As long as he didn't state anything out right, Sheppard was cool about the whole "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy.

He watched closely as Sheppard sat down and struck up a conversation with McKay. He wished he had the confidence to simply go over and strike up a conversation like that, with knowledge that the scientist wouldn't drive him away before he got more than a few words in. Not that he wasn't welcome to approach the man at all, more it was completely unpredictable what kind of reaction his presence would generate. It was possible that Sheppard faced the same problem when approaching the unpredictable man, it was more that as a friend the impact would be lesser should he be unwelcome. While continuing the conversation he was barely following, he kept the exchange between the two men in the corner of his view, waiting for the opportunity and, if he was honest, the nerve to approach the elusive astrophysicist.

"Would you just go over there already," snapped Lieutenant Laura Cadman. She had completely lost her patience with the man in front of her. "You keep looking over at him and it's getting so tiring to repeat myself because you can't stay focused on the here and now."

"I don't know what you are talking about," was the pathetic defence that Major Evan Lorne offered to the accusation. Taking in the nasty glare he received in response, he amended his answer. "Ah, I can't exactly go over there with our commanding officer sitting there. You may have heard of a little thing called Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I realize it doesn't dictate your actions, but it does mine."

"Right," Laura dragged the word out in sarcasm. "And what is your excuse the rest of the time?"

"He's a scary man," offered Lorne. "I mean that. I've been trained to face quite a bit from the enemy, but I don't think we could ever be trained to face the bite of one Dr. Rodney McKay."

"You may have a point there," Cadman relented a little on the consequences of facing the astrophysicist. "But that is assuming he would be completely unwelcoming to the idea, something I think you would be incorrect to assume. I mean you're good looking and of relatively high intelligence. Not a genius, but hey, as military types go in his mind."

"That is quite the sales pitch," Evan derided. "Not too stupid, not too bad looking."

"It's in the attitude, and may I say, yours is way too negative," Laura remarked. "I mean who trod on you're self esteem growing up?"

"My classmates?" Evan offered up, shrugging.

"Seriously, ignore whoever it was because I'll telling you now, they were so wrong," Laura retorted. Smacking him on the arm, she stated, "Once Sheppard leaves you with a clear path, you march right over there and strike up a conversation. It's not like it's an unheard of action, you've done it before."

"There is a big difference between talking to a guy because he is ahead of you in the cafeteria line and walking over and talking to him at an actual shindig," the Major expounded, stressing disparate nature of the situations.

"To-mat-o, to-ma-toe," Laura dismissed. "Just act like the brave officer you are and face the man. Honestly, how is it you wear a uniform every day and face down the likes of the wraith but can't cross a room and chat with a man."

"Because facing the wraith won't get me discharged unlike how on the conversation and how a certain someone reacts to it can," Evan snapped.

"You don't honestly think that McKay would report you, do you?" Laura asked in complete disbelief. "Because he wouldn't. Well not intentionally, at any rate." She did have to admit that Rodney could accidentally reveal what happened. "I mean he has worked for the military for years, so he must know how to keep a secret if it needed to be kept."

Lorne nodded in agreement before adding, "It doesn't really matter at this point in the evening as he is currently in the company of one of the few people who shouldn't witness me trying to approach him."

Laura glanced over to the corner where the man under discussion was attempting to hide. Most in attendance have been giving him the space he craved, the majority doing so because they feared the reprisal of stepping into the personal space of the head of the science department. One didn't have to be a scientist to fear his wrath, he was quite good at exacting revenge on those outside the reach of his department.

"Look, Sheppard has departed," Laura exclaimed. When Lorne made no indication of movement, she grabbed him by the arm and started dragging him toward the object of his interest. "Come on, we are going to go talk to the man, if for no other reason than I know you'll at least do a better job at keeping track of whatever is under discussion."

"Hey," Evan protested though he didn't put up much of a fight to stop the progression toward McKay. "I have no idea what I would even say to the man."

"Try starting with a holiday greeting," Laura advised as she propelled her friend in the scientist's direction. "Or ask him to dance."

Ignoring the suggestion tacked on at the end of the discussion, the Major stumbled forward in to McKay's line of vision. "Hey, Merry Christmas," he offered weakly.

"Merry Christmas back at you," Rodney replied before asking, "Is there a reason Cadman has taken to pushing you around tonight?" It wasn't like anyone, Rodney included, could have missed Laura physically shoving the Major over to the table.

"She's a Marine?" Evan offered.

"Well, they do like to get bossy, that is true enough," Rodney admitted. "But you would think that they would not do that when it involves friends."

"I think it's more they think they are entitled to do it to their friends," Lorne refuted. "Or at least that seems to be Laura's interpretation of the situation."

"Is there a specific reason she pushed you this way?" Rodney asked, giving the man a sharp look. Lorne after all had artistic skills, the type that could produce something along the lines of what currently resided in his pocket. "Or is she just picking random directions to force you to move in?"

"Would you believe random?" Evan asked hopefully, though the sceptical glance gave him a clear answer to his question. "Um, Laura seems to feel that you need to mix and mingle more. She's also seems to have appointed me the task of getting you to do so."

"A woman shares your body for a brief period of time and suddenly she thinks she knows you," complained Rodney. Disappointed that it wasn't some sort of Santa related confession, he waved the Major away, he continued, "Go and tell her to leave me alone. I am happy hiding in my little corner."

Lorne cast a glance at his friend over his shoulder. "Could we humour her and chat for a few more minutes?"

"Are you saying that she is more intimidating than me?" Rodney asked.

"Um, yes?" the Major answered nervously because the two were actually on the same level of scariness as far as he was concerned.

"Could you tell Sheppard that?" demanded Rodney. "Because he never seems to believe me when I say she is a frightening woman."

"Sure, as long as we can chat long enough to satisfy her," Lorne conceded. There was no way he was going to get away without speaking to the man for a little while. When had he started being intimidated by non-related women anyway? The big, bad male Marines didn't frighten him so what was it about the short blonder female one? The grumpy scientist in front of him shot him a glare he interpreted as agreement to his terms. But then again he never used to be unnerved by scientists either; the Stargate program has had a strange effect on him, the Pegasus galaxy even more. Needing to extend the conversation he was at a loss on where to go and turned to the one topic that was a little dangerous for him to bring up. "So, did you like your gift?" he asked, nodding toward the box at Rodney's feet.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? Because I am curious," Lorne shrugged. "You are familiar with the concept as a scientist, isn't it like one of the driving forces of science."

"Curiosity," McKay deliberated, "is what killed the cat, Major."

"And satisfaction is what brought it back," chirped Cadman as she slung her arm over Lorne's shoulder and smiled brightly at the two men. "Now let's go hit the dance floor."

"Can't," Rodney declined. "No way am I leaving my gift unguarded. Chocolates and coffee could never be safe left on its own in this crowd."

"Hold on a sec." Laura turned her head and beckoned to Sheppard. "Hey sir, know anyone who could watch McKay's little treasure trove? Trying to actually get him up to dance."

Teyla over heard the conversation and walked over to her team member. "I could take your box back to your room for you. I am sure you could trust me with the goods, unlike Colonel Sheppard?" She nodded serenely at their team leader who had come back to the table. Suddenly Rodney's hiding spot had become a little hub.

"Well, if he can't trust you, then he could have a problem," smirked John. "Because I think dancing would help get our scientist more into the festive spirit." He flashed a bright smile at Rodney who was still seated at the table. The astrophysicist begrudgingly handed the gift over to Teyla because he couldn't argue with the point on trusting her with the goods.

Cadman clapped her hands together, a gleeful look in her eye. "Alrightie, on to the dance floor with two hot guys."

McKay gave Laura a bewildered look. "Who's the other hot guy?" I know you think Carson is, but he' a little tied up right now. Literally." He leant over a little more looking at Carson Beckett who was tangled in some garland that the older Athosian children still at the party had wrapped around him.

Cadman slapped Lorne on the arm with her free hand. "This boy is the other hot guy, silly."

"I knew you were referring to him." McKay waved the answer away dismissively. "One minute you are talking about dragging me on the dance floor, next it's two hot guys."

Several people rolled their eyes in unison. Teyla, torn between wanting to see Cadman's handling of her teammate and getting the delivery out of the way so she could return to the party, left with a nod, off to complete her task on Rodney's behalf. Sheppard was sniggering but trying not to show it and face McKay's ire. While Evan was wondering since Rodney hadn't included any qualifiers if he could actually interpret that last comment as meaning he found him hot, not just he knew Cadman did.

Laura simply pulled Rodney out of the chair and dragged him to the dance floor, not bothering to answer the man at all. She shot Evan a glare that plainly told him to follow or risk fall out. Rodney however did not let the whole thing pass without comment.

"Aren't there regs against this type of behaviour?" demanded Rodney.

"Rodney," Laura warned. "We are doing a little dancing not putting on mange á trois for all to see."

"I meant the fact that I'd be also technically dancing with him." Rodney pointed a finger at Lorne. "Last I checked the unenlightened US Air Force didn't allow such conduct."

"Given she asked right in front of our commanding officer, so I don't think I have to worry about anything," Lorne stated reassuringly. "Plus bounce around to a few fast Christmas songs and maybe Weir will finally let you leave."

McKay gave the idea the briefest of considerations before snapping, "Get a move on then. Sooner we get started, sooner I can get out of here."

"He just loves parties, doesn't he?" Laura asked Evan who was trying his best not to laugh.

The threesome enjoyed several dances including yet another version of "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree". They garnered several strange looks, mostly motivated by the fact that McKay was dancing and less to do with it was three of them. Much to Laura's delight, bouncing between two fairly skilled partners. It turned out that the scientist avoided dancing at any parties because he didn't want people to find out he could dance, not that he couldn't. But as the DJ was over due to play something slow, the two men found themselves short on female partner when a holiday waltz came on. Laura did suggest the two continue dancing without her with a wink and smirk as she was dragged away by Beckett, but Rodney maintained that that would be in complete violation of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. What else that didn't happen was McKay trying to leave the party, he grabbed Lorne by the arm and dragged the other man away from the dance floor, cutting couple of scientists off from having further punch after they seconded Cadman's suggestion. Not that the two paid any attention to chief science officer once he departed their little area.

Lorne continued to follow McKay after the scientist had let go of him. "Um, you know Rodney you never did answer my question."

Rodney stopped abruptly. "What question?"

"The one about your gift, though I guess wanting to sit and guard it is an answer of sorts," Evan conceded. "Unless that was just an excuse to get out of dancing."

"No, no, chocolate and coffee are always on the good present list," Rodney admitted. "But I didn't show you the best part, did I?"

Best part? Lorne blinked, his mind blanked before he blurted, "You thought that..." He cut himself off when he realized he had almost given himself away.

"I got the neatest little ZPM replica," Rodney informed him as he reached into his pocket to get the object. "You're artistic. You'll appreciate..." Rodney jerked his head up, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. "I thought what?" Rodney pointed an accusing finger and started to sputter, "You're my secret Santa, aren't you?"

Evan shrugged nervously, hoping to have some deny-ability despite the slip and responded, "Maybe."

Rodney poked the Major in the chest repeatedly as he continued. "Why would you go through the trouble of creating me something as cool as this miniature ZPM? I am not exactly your favourite person here."

"Well," Evan started, rubbing the back of his head. "I haven't admitted making it."

"But you did."

"Fine. You grow on a guy, kinda like a fungus," Evan explained, "And I thought you'd really like it. Given that you are carrying it around with you, I thought right."

"Don't let it go to your head," scoffed Rodney, tapping his lips with his finger as he gave the situation further thought. He mused over everything that had played out during the day. "It took a lot of work to create this little fellow, not something you'd do and give away to a fungus type. Cadman made you talk to me and dance together. Oh," Rodney's eyes popped wide open, accusing Evan, "You like me, as in like like, not just friend like."

Lorne turned an interesting shade of red, sputtered a very unconvincing denial of the theory before deciding that it would a good time to beat a strategic retreat. He didn't get further than a step or two before Rodney reached out and grabbed hold of him again to prevent escape.

"Oh no you don't mister," the scientist snapped. "You don't get away that easy."

"What happened to the guy who was all concerned about propriety a little while ago?"

"We are simply having a conversation," Rodney sneered.

"One that anybody could listen in on," Evan pointed out.

"It's not like Sheppard doesn't know you were my secret Santa," groused Rodney. "He's sharp about things like that, so he worked it out from this little ZPM."

"There's a difference..." was all that Lorne got out before Rodney grabbed him once again, this time dragging him toward the exit.

"Then we'll talk elsewhere," the scientist snapped, nodding at Elizabeth Weir as the two passed, he informed the head of the expedition, in a tone that brooked no argument, "We are leaving now."

"That's fine Rodney," Elizabeth called after him. "But you have to practice a little Christmas tradition on departure."

"What?" Rodney asked as he stopped to turn and look at the dark haired woman. "What tradition?"

Elizabeth's answer was simply a finger pointing upwards that had the two men look up as well, only to find a little mistletoe above their heads. Both McKay and Lorne shot her a protesting glare, but she simply informed them that being of the same gender didn't get them out of it and that everyone else had been cooperative so far.

Looking at each other, the two men leant in to each other's personal space, intending to get the kiss over as quickly as possible. However once their lips met, the plan changed as the two deepened the kiss, tongues demanding entry, and then duelling for dominance. The two got wrapped in each other and forgot about the crowd at the party, at least until their not so little kiss got a round of applause. At that point, the two men literally jumped away from each other, faces red, looks sheepish, giving a pathetic little wave to the people surrounding them before darting out of the room. There was one thing for sure, in each man's mind, the hope that there could be a little more of that.


End file.
